Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Divided Personalities

Everyone has been through something that has changed them in a particular way. Experiences that took a toll on them. Turned some us into beasts and others into beauties for lack of a better word. Let’s just say they split our personalities.

I want you to relate…so i'm gon make this short…This is my story…

"I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Rather my parents were mature enough to accept me.

I didn’t have everything I wanted as a child. I was taught to be satisfied with what I needed . Get it? “ want “….” need “….

Dad was strict. He kept me indoors. His reasons were practical though. I was a reserved child and my teenage years were dubbed as “boring”. I never used to “fit in”. Events, house parties,…Ya dig???!

I was the Shy, reserved and anti-social just to mention but a few adjectives. Just negativity yes? "

Don’t worry though. Am all grown up now, none of those words describes my current being. My point here!!?

My past divided me. It created two persons.
Person one is the one who grew up shattered and broken by her past. Deep down I reminisce and promise never to go back or re-live it. She sometimes keeps to herself because of her inner fears.

Person two turned all the negativity into positive factors. She’s the person social media knows. She’s the person her friends know. She’s happier, social and talkative once you get passed my 3007 layers. Why? She wants to make others happy. She wants to love and to be loved. She wants to make others smile and remind them that despite their inner hurts there are going to be better days.

You have a past? It split you? Use it to your
advantage. How? Only you have the answer to that. You relate? I hope you did.

Warmest Regards.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Unseen Hope.

She didn't know what she wanted
And she knew how no one ever did...
But she knew one thing:
She wanted to be found in the rain.

She wanted to run wild...
She wanted to fall, and feel safe
But dangerous enough
To let her heart drop.

She wanted love,
True love, pure and kind and untouched.
The kind that wasn't ruined
By the chaos of the world.

The kind you would find,
In a small coffee shop,
In some foreign country.

That is all she ever wanted,
And she didn't know where,
Or how it would appear,
But she knew, deep within her,
It would show itself,
In the form of something,
Unexpected.

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Who Are You?

A dimly lit room,
strangers,
we sit –
on creaking chairs
listening
to the storm
rage,
seethe
outside.

The candles are hushed,
and whispers rise
from the walls,
dissolving –
like the dead love –
lying,
rotting
between us.

Your smiles,
fake,
Your words,
too late,
Your eyes,
leave me
before
your thoughts
reach me.

I sit here
in the darkness
when you
go out –
leaving me
alone.

Still,
I sit here –
wishing
I knew you
wishing
I was
someone..anyone else,
wishing,
wishing
for a second chance.

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Social Anxiety

Afraid to go out

Afraid to talk to people

Its difficult to make friends

I'd rather be home....ALONE

Scared to be in a big crowd of people

Panicking about going to a social event

Nervous about meeting someone new

Staying quiet instead of asking for something you need

Scared to ask someone something

Feeling like everyone is watching you

Regretting going out!

I am a fire cracker😒

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Smell The Coffee

Recently I accidentally overheard a conversation between a couple of young girls who from the looks had just finished high school. They were on and on about how amazing our ‘Socialites’ are and how many followers they had on instagram and all the other famous social media sites. They spoke with so much awe at how much attention these women got.

This got me thinking, how many more young girls have been sold on the idea of quick fame being shoved in our faces by these new age socialites? Take a random look at your Instagram page, will you go without an ass picture there, a twerk video here, a thirst trap with a mislead Bible quote for whatever absurd reason. With people trying to ‘break the internet’ every other day, social media reeks of missing fathers and troubled childhoods.

In some way I kinda understood where these girls were coming from. Imagine toiling away for four years, flexing your HELB money while our socialites ride around in cars that some of our parents can only dream of driving, barely living off indomie and cheap liquor while these ladies have dinner at Villa Rossa and drink Hennessy. Seriously! What else would you do?

So you start by having a ‘Professional photo shoot’ with your ass out. A marketing strategy in its own right, wait for guys to fuss over your bountiful bosom or your enormous behind. A new human hair weave, an iPhone here, a few trips to Nigeria and a few club appearances later. That HELB money starts looking like pocket change. You are now officially a ‘star’. Soon all this education vibe starts getting in the way of your fabulousity, jet-setter life and it goes out the window real quick.

The bad bitch complex will have you thinking that all you need in this life is a nice face and a banging body and that being witty is a reserve for boring plain-Jane women. Bad bitches are the kind of women who think that having your ass out on the internet  defines how sexy you are. What happened to being sexy with our clothes on ladies?

Bad bitches will say the dumbest and most absurd things and do despicable things just for the 15 seconds of fame it accords them. Publicity is amazing for them.Bad publicity  is not something that exists in their books.
Bad bitches are the kind to get excited by thirsty guys who praise their body rather than their intellectual capabilities.

Men are also notorious for fostering this complex. They gas up these females so bad, all the thirsty comments and compliments go to their heads and they think they are invincible. When the hype dies down is when you realize you can not put instagram likes in your CV, you can’t use you thirsty male ‘fans’ as references and that body certainly won’t be banging forever.

This façade will soon go away, you will start to long for what the boring witty people have, great jobs, great families and real happiness. This is a void that no fame in the world could possibly fill. The books and plain Jane life suddenly don’t sound that bad huh?

Something ‘bad bitches’ tend to forget is that men actually appreciate someone they can have an intellectual and meaningful conversation with, no man is really trying to talk or hear about weaves all the time.

I’m not really trying to be shady. Hey floss those cakes honey, go ahead, be dumb for a few retweets. Live by the ‘you know my name not my story’ ideology just remember
that we are living in times where people expect brains to be attached to those curves, get familiar!

Smell the coffee.

Regards.

Monday, 1 February 2016

I Dream Of You


I
wake up
as it begins to
rain.

I
wake up
to
thunder
in my
veins.

Slightly dying –
this
bitter day.

I
wake up –
even as I fall asleep
in
your arms.

And sleeping,
the bitterness flies –
leaving only
dreams,
dreams of
you.

                                 * * *

Art by: el.carna 

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Sorry. She's Not Sorry.

Sorry
I'm not good enough for you

Sorry
I'm not what you ever dreamt of

Sorry
I'm not pretty enough to you

Sorry
I'm not creative in your eyes

Sorry
I don't tickle your fancy

Sorry
Fashion is not a priority to me

Sorry
She's all you think of

Sorry
Your parents were not there for you

Sorry
Your siblings don't appreciate you as they should

Sorry
Your destinied 'future' doesn't seem brighter no more

Sorry
Your boss is a pain the A**

Sorry
Your life turned out this way

Sorry
College was never in the picture for you

Sorry
They lied to you

Sorry
You don't believe God exists

But am sorry you don't believe in me

Am sorry you don't see my worth.

Wait...

Maybe am sorry, Maybe am not.

But Am Not sorry for being Myself.