Divided Personalities

Everyone has been through something that has changed them in a particular way. Experiences that took a toll on them. Turned some us into beasts and others into beauties for lack of a better word. Let’s just say they split our personalities.

I want you to relate…so i'm gon make this short…This is my story…

"I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Rather my parents were mature enough to accept me.

I didn’t have everything I wanted as a child. I was taught to be satisfied with what I needed . Get it? “ want “….” need “….

Dad was strict. He kept me indoors. His reasons were practical though. I was a reserved child and my teenage years were dubbed as “boring”. I never used to “fit in”. Events, house parties,…Ya dig???!

I was the Shy, reserved and anti-social just to mention but a few adjectives. Just negativity yes? "

Don’t worry though. Am all grown up now, none of those words describes my current being. My point here!!?

My past divided me. It created two persons.
Person one is the one who grew up shattered and broken by her past. Deep down I reminisce and promise never to go back or re-live it. She sometimes keeps to herself because of her inner fears.

Person two turned all the negativity into positive factors. She’s the person social media knows. She’s the person her friends know. She’s happier, social and talkative once you get passed my 3007 layers. Why? She wants to make others happy. She wants to love and to be loved. She wants to make others smile and remind them that despite their inner hurts there are going to be better days.

You have a past? It split you? Use it to your
advantage. How? Only you have the answer to that. You relate? I hope you did.

Warmest Regards.

Unseen Hope.

She didn't know what she wanted
And she knew how no one ever did...
But she knew one thing:
She wanted to be found in the rain.

She wanted to run wild...
She wanted to fall, and feel safe
But dangerous enough
To let her heart drop.

She wanted love,
True love, pure and kind and untouched.
The kind that wasn't ruined
By the chaos of the world.

The kind you would find,
In a small coffee shop,
In some foreign country.

That is all she ever wanted,
And she didn't know where,
Or how it would appear,
But she knew, deep within her,
It would show itself,
In the form of something,
Unexpected.

Who Are You?

A dimly lit room,
strangers,
we sit –
on creaking chairs
listening
to the storm
rage,
seethe
outside.

The candles are hushed,
and whispers rise
from the walls,
dissolving –
like the dead love –
lying,
rotting
between us.

Your smiles,
fake,
Your words,
too late,
Your eyes,
leave me
before
your thoughts
reach me.

I sit here
in the darkness
when you
go out –
leaving me
alone.

Still,
I sit here –
wishing
I knew you
wishing
I was
someone..anyone else,
wishing,
wishing
for a second chance.

Social Anxiety

Afraid to go out

Afraid to talk to people

Its difficult to make friends

I'd rather be home....ALONE

Scared to be in a big crowd of people

Panicking about going to a social event

Nervous about meeting someone new

Staying quiet instead of asking for something you need

Scared to ask someone something

Feeling like everyone is watching you

Regretting going out!

I am a fire cracker😒

Smell The Coffee

Recently I accidentally overheard a conversation between a couple of young girls who from the looks had just finished high school. They were on and on about how amazing our ‘Socialites’ are and how many followers they had on instagram and all the other famous social media sites. They spoke with so much awe at how much attention these women got.

This got me thinking, how many more young girls have been sold on the idea of quick fame being shoved in our faces by these new age socialites? Take a random look at your Instagram page, will you go without an ass picture there, a twerk video here, a thirst trap with a mislead Bible quote for whatever absurd reason. With people trying to ‘break the internet’ every other day, social media reeks of missing fathers and troubled childhoods.

In some way I kinda understood where these girls were coming from. Imagine toiling away for four years, flexing your HELB money while our socialites ride around in cars that some of our parents can only dream of driving, barely living off indomie and cheap liquor while these ladies have dinner at Villa Rossa and drink Hennessy. Seriously! What else would you do?

So you start by having a ‘Professional photo shoot’ with your ass out. A marketing strategy in its own right, wait for guys to fuss over your bountiful bosom or your enormous behind. A new human hair weave, an iPhone here, a few trips to Nigeria and a few club appearances later. That HELB money starts looking like pocket change. You are now officially a ‘star’. Soon all this education vibe starts getting in the way of your fabulousity, jet-setter life and it goes out the window real quick.

The bad bitch complex will have you thinking that all you need in this life is a nice face and a banging body and that being witty is a reserve for boring plain-Jane women. Bad bitches are the kind of women who think that having your ass out on the internet  defines how sexy you are. What happened to being sexy with our clothes on ladies?

Bad bitches will say the dumbest and most absurd things and do despicable things just for the 15 seconds of fame it accords them. Publicity is amazing for them.Bad publicity  is not something that exists in their books.
Bad bitches are the kind to get excited by thirsty guys who praise their body rather than their intellectual capabilities.

Men are also notorious for fostering this complex. They gas up these females so bad, all the thirsty comments and compliments go to their heads and they think they are invincible. When the hype dies down is when you realize you can not put instagram likes in your CV, you can’t use you thirsty male ‘fans’ as references and that body certainly won’t be banging forever.

This façade will soon go away, you will start to long for what the boring witty people have, great jobs, great families and real happiness. This is a void that no fame in the world could possibly fill. The books and plain Jane life suddenly don’t sound that bad huh?

Something ‘bad bitches’ tend to forget is that men actually appreciate someone they can have an intellectual and meaningful conversation with, no man is really trying to talk or hear about weaves all the time.

I’m not really trying to be shady. Hey floss those cakes honey, go ahead, be dumb for a few retweets. Live by the ‘you know my name not my story’ ideology just remember
that we are living in times where people expect brains to be attached to those curves, get familiar!

Smell the coffee.

Regards.

I Dream Of You

I
wake up
as it begins to
rain.

I
wake up
to
thunder
in my
veins.

Slightly dying –
this
bitter day.

I
wake up –
even as I fall asleep
in
your arms.

And sleeping,
the bitterness flies –
leaving only
dreams,
dreams of
you.

                                 * * *

Art by: el.carna 

Sorry. She's Not Sorry.

Sorry
I'm not good enough for you

Sorry
I'm not what you ever dreamt of

Sorry
I'm not pretty enough to you

Sorry
I'm not creative in your eyes

Sorry
I don't tickle your fancy

Sorry
Fashion is not a priority to me

Sorry
She's all you think of

Sorry
Your parents were not there for you

Sorry
Your siblings don't appreciate you as they should

Sorry
Your destinied 'future' doesn't seem brighter no more

Sorry
Your boss is a pain the A**

Sorry
Your life turned out this way

Sorry
College was never in the picture for you

Sorry
They lied to you

Sorry
You don't believe God exists

But am sorry you don't believe in me

Am sorry you don't see my worth.

Wait...

Maybe am sorry, Maybe am not.

But Am Not sorry for being Myself.

Get Your Sugar On!

It has been said over and over again that life gives us lemons so that we can make lemonade. Sometimes I just can’t find the sugar to add to my lemons to make them sweet enough.:-)

What if I was born rich? (I didn’t say being born rich is a crime), the crime is how you manipulate the riches. Back to my point…I would definitely be happy, who would not? But wait, then i would not get to experience life and learn that to get to the top, patience, uniqueness, God and perseverance is required. I am still on my way to the top, so worry not, we are treading on the same ground, we”ll meet up there.

What if love was just a plain four letter word with no complicated comprehension? It would be less “stress” huh? No fights, no breakups, no rebounds, no Taylor Swift love songs to keep some of us going. But wait, No lessons too. There’s no life without lessons. Is there?

What if I was famous on Instagram? Haha, Dumb right?…No..It’s an innocent thought. A follow maybe [@kanali_tha_bossette ]. Let me warn you, I seldom follow back. I dare you to follow though. Back to my point, IG fame equals more DM’s, more likes on my posts and more recognition among my peers. But then would I be happy? Would you be happy? Personally chances are I would. Hold that thought though. Is public recognition supposed to make you happy or is it personal recognition? Food for thought doe.

What if I was slim? *chuckles* Much bigger behind maybe. We all know what that means. Much fuller chest perhaps. Again. The typical girl’s dream. But hey, maybe i would be the model everyone seems to see me for. 

Finding my sugar…Are you?

Well am concluding that finding my sugar just needs a little more positivity, otherwise I’d only be making lemon juice not lemonade.

Get it?. You don’t have to.Just relate.

Regards.

22 Things I Have Learnt Before 22

Part 2

12. Mind your own business. You don’t have to know everything. Of course knowledge is power, but you don’t need to keep poking your nose in everyone’s business. It’s unattractive and annoying. Stay in your lane, focus on improving yourself, not investigating Julie’s new boyfriend, or why Mike and Hanna broke up. It’s none of your business. Everytime you want to meddle, grab yourself a cup of tea instead.

13. Things won’t always work out as you planned. Oh, that’s a knife to the throat for the dreamers and planners. You will make a list of things, predict how your life will turn out then the opposite happens and you’re like, excuse me, what? But that’s ok. When one door closes another one opens, and when all the doors are shut, pray in the hallway. Relax, things may not be going as you planned and that’s ok. It’s not the end. The end never feels like the end.

14. Enjoy the little things. I remember when I was in high school, my friends would drop cute notes in my desk, maybe to wish me a nice day or success in my exam. Honestly, those notes made my days and I have most of them to this day.
Life isn’t about big things like raves on Friday night, or the day ‘bae’ makes the relationship official. Nope. It’s lunch with the friends you see everyday or witty conversations while taking a walk with your best friend. The sooner you realise it, the happier you’ll get will time. You will begin to appreciate moments more.

15. Don’t force issues. Your crush doesn’t like you? Ok. You’re doing squats but your behind seems to be getting flatter? Alright. Your almost bff decides to go silent on you for a whole semester? Brilliant. Take a chill pill. Breathe.
Relationships, friendships and trying to get a big booty are like farts, if you force them it’s shit.
So chill, if your crush doesn’t like you back, you’ll move on to another crush who doesn’t like you back. Your friend will come around after she’s had enough space from your toxic self.
You won’t like nice in yoga pants. Life has a way of making things work out. Except you’re working out but nothing’s happening.

16. It’s ok to feel lost sometimes. Some days you’ll wake up and feel empty for no reason. Talking to people will seem too exhausting and understanding yourself will be almost impossible. It’s ok, it happens to the best of us. Think of it as a way to discover a new part of yourself because as we continue to live, we go through experiences that change us in one way or another.

17. Love yourself. (On to our third trite.)
This is by far the hardest thing to do. When you hear that statement, you remember the pimple on your face and your short legs and ♥♥♥♥handles and you’re just like :( But that’s ok. Those flaws are what make you you. You have a tummy so you can’t be a model but you can be a photographer and still work in the modelling agency. It’s about learning to embrace your flaws and making them work for you. Of course not everyone will love you, but that doesn’t matter. When you love yourself you become indestructible. Also, self-love is a journey. So keep feeding your soul with the right things.

18. Distractions are allowed and solitude is important, but in moderation since both are very addictive. It’s ok to get away from reality, occasionally. You don’t have to do drugs though, working out or cooking your favourite meal are great stress relievers as well. And as for solitude.

19. Religion is important. At this age, we want to go out, take shots, sleep on Sundays and read romantic novels on Wattpad, and that’s ok. But in our misadventures, we mustn’t forget God. Praying and reading the Bible is a difficult habit to form but it’s not impossible. Start slowly, and just grow spiritually on your own. As Christianity infiltrates your life, it will be much easier to let go of worldly habits.

20. It’s ok to be single, just see it as a chance to improve and educate yourself. Social media isn’t all about likes, memes and vines. There are some good quotes and poems and all that motivational stuff. Read them, take screenshots and reread them. You will increase your thinking to unknown depths in addition to learning a lot. So by the time you get a boyfriend, you’ll be one mature and wise girl. Hallo long-term relationship because no man in his right senses would want to let go of you.

21. Have fun a little. Yes you need to work, yes things need to work out but seriously, you need a break too. Remember, all work and no play? Yes. So have a little fun. Do the things you never thought of doing. Travel around. Visit new places. Learn about the different cultures. Read a book. It will broaden your thoughts in ways you never imagined. Just have fun!

22. WAKE, PRAY, SLAY. REPEAT.

22 Things I Have Learnt Before 22

PART 1

1. Your true friends aren’t the ones you’ve known the longest, rather people who’ve got your back. Do you know how important such people are? They’d die for you when the backstabbers decide to hit.

2. You and your best friends will grow apart. You won’t fight or steal each other’s boyfriends, you just will. Not that there’s no spark anymore, there is. But you’ll get busy, so so busy and this person will slowly slip away.

3. You do not have to broadcast your every high and low. I knew this before, and I was doing it on Instagram, facebook and twitter, and to me that was ok. But I was doing it everywhere else (My Space mostly.) Like if I got a new crush, the top 7 besties would be informed. That kind of ‘openness’ isn’t necessary and is almost always regretted.

4. You will meet your almost-soulmate. This guy is just something else. You have a bunch of things in common, you think alike and he will get your weirdness and complement you perfectly. You will think he’s ‘the one’ but things won’t work out. You don’t have to fight, he’ll just be the one that got away.

5. Waiting is a lifestyle not a choice, as is Christianity. You can decide to be a Christian but if you do not make it your lifestyle then it’s a poor investment. Waiting needs to be a lifestyle. You have to constantly remind yourself why it is important because temptation will arise.

6. Life goes on, with or without you. It’s so shocking how fast time moves. Approaching the end of my fourth year ‘outside’ ( high school.) the reality dawns on me. I meet my former school mates in the CBD almost every week (unplanned for of course.) and some are working, some are doing crazy courses in the university and others have amazing marriages and some boyfriends. (Others not.) Life waits for no man so enjoy the present because you’ll never be as young as you are now.

7. Time heals. How cliché, but oh how true. I wish you knew the weight those two words carry. You will get heartbroken by a guy who was too busy to see you on your birthday and during your next one, you will spend the better part of the day with a boy more beautiful than you and your old news won't cross your mind. Not even once.
So keep remind yourself there are people worth meeting because it is sad that as we are busy crying over a guy there are a million others out there that we are not aware of.

8. Express yourself. Don't be scared of saying how you feel, or what you think. In short be yourself. If you're a sensitive emotional girl, or a boy who loves pink, flaunt it. I saw a tweet early in the morning that said, "be crazy, be random, be weird because you'll never know who'll love the person you hide"

9. Its not always about you. The photo won't be deleted because you don't look nice in it, the music everyone is enjoying wont be changed because it reminds you of your ex.
How do we like to think that this is life...starring Kanali, Jenny or Higg. NO. This is life and guess what, you and 7 billion other people have leading roles, good luck. Treat each other with respect because you're all equal. So next time your feeling better than everyone else, remember you are busy boasting over a spotlight you share with the whole world. Lets see how well that goes. :-)

10. It is what you tell yourself everyday and who is around you. Remember perception: its all in the mind. Are the voices in your head making you grow or are they belittling you as the day goes by.  And if its the latter, are the people around you trying to make you see otherwise? Knowing who your true friends are is easy. You just need to be keen.

11. You don't have to proove them wrong. We have all been in that situation where people doubt you and say how you can't make it. Well, you dont always have to proove to them, as long as you know it deep down that you can and you will, then you go go go. Just dont doubt yourself. It kills more dreams than failure ever will. Just be crazy enough to think you can :-)

My Itty-Bitty ♥

Todays post is all about me, I thought i’d write a few things that anyone would want to know about me.  Asked myself questions yeah i know how that sounds, but dont judge ;). So here we go;

1. Am I Single: Yes Yes Yes

2. Have I Ever Been Cheated on: Uuhm, yeah

3. My Crush: Sajid Kaka and Ricky Whittle, i’ll cuff you both someday and course, Karush wangu!  Napenda vile sisi hudanganyana, my tracheal inspiration.

4. Do I Miss My Last Relationship: To be honest, NO. ✌

5. Who Has My Heart: Spongebob and God

6. Am I The Jealous Type: Perhaps, but cheat on me with one, i’ll cheat on you with tripple

7. Ex I’d Take Back: Mike (Tulisoma naye nussery school) Mkimuona mwambie namtaka

8. Last Time I Cried: Big girls don't cry

9. Favourite Song: Still the one-Sauti sol

10. Who Do I Miss: Ni wengi vane

11. Girl Crush: Sheilla Raey, Maureen Kunga and Patrisha Kihoro got love for y’all

12. Eye Color: Ni brown ukimulika na torch

13. Height: 5’4 but am a giant within

14. Something Random: I know a cat that thinks its a dog

15. Do i give second chances: Do pigs fly??

16. Someone I Trust My Life With: Just God!

Well there you have it. Drop more of your questions in the comment box and i'll answer them.

Cheers lovies

Regards.

Gender, A Complex Affair

Its been forever right? Sorry sorry took me long to settle and post something up but here goes.

*Disclaimer these are Just my thoughts.

Male or Female really is not as simple as we all have seemed to assume all these years. Am saying this, not because i am a victim of this but because i have had close friends, yeah i said close friends who have faced this. They just didnt understand fully their sexual orientation to reasons not really known by me.

One minute, they’d act like girls, and the next they’d flip back into their own boyish form. For the girls, they would hide in their thoughts of being tomboys but for the boys they didn’t just understand themselves, just as we didn’t.

Quick story: One friend of mine was literally taken to the hospital just so that the parents could “figure” out their daughter. The doc confirmed that the girl had more of the male hormones than that of female hormones. So they started out some sort of treatment that would help her out. Oh well, i never really did a follow up on what followed.

Seriously though, i think there should be a plan on how to help them figure themselves out. It would really help a great deal. And for those who seriously hate on them, just thank your heavens that you actually understand your sexual orientation because not everyone is as lucky as you.

(Feedback will be appreciated. Comment and share )

Peace. Bless.

Regards

Sucker for Love

Location: Home
Background music: Usher-Matrimony

It is quite true, contrary to popular belief about me. Most people who know me personally or have met me say that i look emotionless. But thats just what i choose to show you know. Its like a strategy to avoid alot of things, but truth be told, everybody has their soft spots. Mine comes in whenever i hear some good old jams, not just any genre, but some good love songs.

Oh you know that little fantasy that you always get when you have a good feeling about the future? I have one of my own when on my playlist is a couple of sweet love songs.

Why am into this? For one solid reason. The music industry has completly turned to the 'boom boom twaf!' Songs. Everybody is busy twerking here and there, vigorous actions going down, so much when you really sit to watch a music video, alot goes on and your senses are just all over. For me, thats alot to take in, and thats why i preffer some soothing love song to some twerk song. Old skool? Yeah its better.

Do you ever wish to have been born earlier? Like during our parents time. I wish for that alot. I like it easy if you haven't noticed that yet, and back then life was awesome compared to now. Not the technological aspects of it hehe. You'd school, later in life meet a guy, fall in love, settle down, have kids, retire from your job, enjoy your benefits and thats it. I tend to think their love stories are just awesome, ( espc my papi's & mamushka's). Life would have been great back then for me.

How i wish i'd be that girl in that awesome series "Hindsight". She goes back in time and tries to make things right in her life. How cool would that be, yeah i wish hehe.

Regards :-)

The Skin Color Stamp

So recently i posted a picture on instagram with the caption that brought forth a lot of questions. the caption read: "Do i love my skin color? Yes." The genesis of that post was so and so, i wont name them here had asked me if i love my skin color. I was shocked because in this day and age, i never expected anyone to be thinking along those lines. Busy playing the race card here. Wrong move boo.

I don't even know where to begin. how to retaliate on this issue. how to help us curb this issue that seems so simple but yet so hard. so hard. Why should you judge me by the colour of my skin? does my race really count in a conversation or whatever. why should we favor or see one skin color to be more dominant than the other? why cant we give equal chances and opportunities to all races? whats hard there my good people?

Yes am venting. Why can't you be able to date or interact with me because of my skin color? I figure that to be one dumb move. I didn't choose to be born with this skin color! But trust me i wouldn't change it for anything in this world.

Beauty should not be defined by the outward adornment. There's more to it than just a well done hairstyle, gold jewelry or my skin color! I tend to see someone through their inner self. Its worth more than the physical being.

If only we all looked at each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges we all face, i think we will treat each other way more better. Without judgement. Lets fight this race issue. We are better than this.

Regards.

Chase God, Not People

Background music: Nitumie- Adawnage Band

It takes Godly maturity for one to realize that pleasing fellow human beings is one endless and energy consuming venture. No matter what you do or how you do it, people will never be really pleased. Just a few will be. Those who really care for you can’t even number a total of ten people.

A friend once told me, “You don’t need to defend yourself. Those who love you don’t need your defense. Those who don’t love you don’t need it either. In fact the more you defend yourself, the more chances you give your enemies a chance to gather something against you.”

We form friends left, right and center in life and we value those relationships. Girls gather for sleepovers while the boys prefer outdoors. With time however we realize our immense differences and slowly our number of friends reduces.

If we are not careful, we may begin to put people above God and that is where our tribulations begin. We have been instructed to serve God with all our heart, body, mind and soul: and not to have any other gods before Him.

For instance, your church is calling for prayers and fasting this coming weekend. Damn it! You think. This weekend is my best friend’s farewell party. How can I arrive at this fun-filled party and salivate all the way? So what do you do? You decide God can wait until another fast is called. Hopefully, there will be no other social function then.

Or you really love attending the annual worship concert or something and its coming this weekend, but your boyfriend says he doesn’t feel like it. Instead he wants you to spend a quiet evening at home. Well, you have never missed the concert but since you met this guy less than a year ago, and he is driving you crazy so a quiet evening it is.

God demands our total surrender. He says He will not share His glory with another. Remember how the human heart is totally wicked. This is why we need to stay closer to him. People will always disappoint.

Most people will befriend you based on what they can benefit from you, but God only desires that we lead lives that please Him.

How do we please God you ask? Simple. Do his will. Determine to be a God chaser from today.

Pain Demands To Be Felt

                  

               

                   ‘Give me love like never before,

He is all you think about isn’t he? The way he carried himself made you feel like he is the one. His smile, his voice, how he dressed like the true classic man, there is no doubt he is your type. His warmness and how he treated you with utmost kindness, all you could think about was how much fun you’d have with him. Just him huh! How he eyed you across the hall, and you blushed and smiled, oh you were in heaven, and it’s just you two. How he dominates your thoughts, you still haven’t figured it out.

              'Cause lately I've been craving more,’

But he knows how crazy you are about him. He knows how you, melt when he touches you, he knows he can knock you down with just a smirk and he uses it to his own advantage. He tortures you, or at least you think so. He pushes you to the brink and you question if it is really love or some stupid feeling. He makes you doubt everything, and now you want to let go. But you want to hold on again. Letting go seems like the hardest part of this ‘relationship’ that’s in your head. As always leaving is the hardest part.

           ‘And it's been a while but I still feel the same,’

You see him. You smile as always even if he hurts you, the pain is something you always look forward to, you convince yourself its better than nothing. You see him with another. A pretty one. Your heart turns cold, ice cold. You are so heartbroken you don’t even want him to see you see him with his new conquest. So you pass them and ignore him like you have never seen him. She’s so fine, with that gorgeous hair, flawless skin and white teeth. The more reasons to hate her. You see her oftenly with him. Its official, he’s gone and no matter how many books you read or how many articles you google on how to get him back, it won’t work. Saddest part is, he just aint into you. Sorry my love.

 

Withered rose :(

                    ‘Maybe I should let you go,’

How about you move on. Tall order yes? But you can make it. Its just some silly crush. There are other men out there. Yeah not like him, but even better than him. Don’t give up on love. Don’t tag every man with that statement, ‘they are all the same. There’s hope for your love story. It’s not over boo. It’s not over until He says it’s over. So ride that horse. Ride it hard. (No pun intended)

  

Push On

Viv and I, my ride and ride, the one in this article always have this crazy awesome ideas. Not the imma party my head out this weekend but the kind that will make some change for us and help us leave a mark. A mark that will be known to all.

Currently we are working on something and one major thing that is pulling us behind is the lack of resources. We all know how this unfolds. But its us, you got to learn from all this. Make it count, don't complain much.

Here is what i have learnt from this, i hope it inspires you too;

Always understand the lack of resources should not deter you from chasing your dreams, because that’s our story, majority of us that is. We have to work hard to get the resources that will enable us to achieve our plans/goals.

It could be a little disheartening which is normal for any human I suppose, but tell yourself good things, like how you’re a superstar no jokes . Give yourself psyche, keep trying and working hard even when it all seems bleak.

Keep on pushing and someday you’ll look back and realize that it was not really about the resource but about your ability to lift yourself and work through a situation.

YOU DESERVE BETTER

Location: My room
Background music: Say you love me-Jessie Ware

Have you ever dated or wished to date a man who fulfilled every quality on your mental checklist? He’s tall-Check, cute and intelligent double check, successful, physically fit, funny and kind infinity check check. The feeling you get when you’re around this guy is amazing; you might even call it love. In fact, let’s call it love. Yes, let’s say that you are completely in love with this amazing man. To you, he is virtually flawless. And who am I to argue?

There’s only one nagging issue: This man doesn’t love you back. Time to let go of that man who has a hold on you, even though he doesn’t make any effort to make you feel special. Until you do, you’re emotionally hung up, and preventing yourself from finding true love – the kind where a man actually GIVES to you.

“There’s no reason to wait for something that’s not happening. The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS.”

Don’t feel alone. Your condition is universal. Thousands of songs have been written about unrequited love, and they all have the same unhappy ending. I’m just asking you to think about your unrequited love. Maybe he’s a co-worker whom you’ve had a crush on for the longest time. Maybe he’s a friend who you’ve secretly been falling for. Maybe he’s even your boyfriend – the man who’s been with you for 6 months. Doesn’t matter.

The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS. You know you’re not getting as much love as you’re giving, but you put up with it anyway. Why? Because, to you, it beats the alternative: breaking up with him, feeling sad, and going back to the dating pool once again. So even though you’re with a man who is essentially using you, you’re okay with it. Or you blind yourself to it, and pretend it’s not happening. Oh hunie, it’s happening. Every day you spend with a man who doesn’t love you as you love him, you’re playing it safe, you’re playing it scared, and you’re wasting your precious time.  Doesn’t that sound just a bit “off” to you?

Sorry, but life is too short to spend getting the short end of the relationship stick. It’s like a guy pining for that same woman who thinks of him as “just a friend” – spending years getting close to her, in hopes that one day, she changes her mind about him. If that man were your best friend, you’d tell him to move on to a woman who appreciated why he was amazing, instead of steadfastly waiting for her to recognize that he’s been the man of her dreams all along.

And that’s the unfortunate part about dating – it often creates a power dynamic that is unhealthy. You undoubtedly recognize it. You like the man who is more unavailable. You respect him more. He’s more challenging. And yet you never know where you stand with him. When you find the guy who instantly communicates to you that you’re the woman of his dreams, it’s way too easy. He bores you. He’s not challenging enough. It works the same way for men. The woman who declares her love on date 1 will scare the hell out of him. The woman who makes him work for it a little bit will be the one who wins his heart.
As a result, you have this push-pull dynamic in dating where you’re supposed to be available, but not too available. Flirty but not too easy. Authentic but not saying everything on your mind. Relationship-oriented but not pushing for commitment too soon. No wonder dating is so difficult!

Over the years I’ve realized the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over. He’s devoted, in every sense of the word. It’s clear, from his actions, that he feels like he’s the lucky one – and he’s doing everything in his power to prove to her that he’s worthy. That’s the man you want in your life. Yet that’s the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over.

It’s not nearly as exciting as the man who keeps you on your toes because you never know where you stand. His very Unavailability is part of what makes him so attractive. But boy, is it unfulfilling to invest so much time in a man who doesn’t give you the security you deserve.

The moral of the story is NOT to find some wishy-washy guy who puts you on a pedestal. Believe me, I appreciate it if you’re uncomfortable finding a man who loves you more. Feel free to take off the last word if you want. Just promise me you’ll “find a man who loves you”…not just a man whom you love.

Always remember...

It’s possible – but it takes an effort to do things differently.


Always remember, you’re not alone.


Regards.

10 COMMANDMENTS FOR SINGLE LADIES

So as usual when i wake up first thing to check is always social media and today i came across this post and i just had to share it. There it goes:

"1. Never fail to pray before saying yes to a man. Don’t be in a hurry to get married. If you rush in, you may rush out with a lot of injuries!

2. Discover Your Purpose before marriage. Go To School Or Learn a trade. Don’t wait for a man before you start living. Add value to yourself and leave a good life.

3. Don’t run after a man because of his money, cars connection, position, talent, or family background. Marry a man base on the conviction of the Holy Spirit and Love.

4. Develop a healthy eating habit. Don’t be too fat that single men begin to think you are married. It takes discipline to do that.

5. Dress well: First Impression counts. Don’t expose any of your private part for men to see otherwise you might only attract a player not a responsible man.

6. Don’t beg or force a man to marry you. You are too precious to do that. And don’t try to hook and keep a guy with sex or unwanted pregnancy. Many ladies who do that end up in shame and regrets.

7. Your character is your marriage. It makes a man want to spend the rest of his life with you. So Work on your character. Beauty is not everything. If it is all you have, you’ll lose your place to someone more beautiful and more matured than you.

8. Never fail to learn how to cook good food. Men usually love a woman who feed them with good food because one of the easiest way to a man’s heart is through good food.

9. Never fail to read at least 20 books about marriage and family before your wedding. The marriage you don’t prepare for will confuse you when you get there. Attend marriage seminar and premarital counselling before marriage.

10. Never fail To Give Your Life to Christ before Marriage. A Marriage Without Christ Is Bound To Experience Marital Crisis.

I hope am making sense here? PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUS IS THE 10 COMMANDMENT FOR ALL SINGLE LADIES.

OKAY, SHARE THIS COMMANDMENT WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!"

There you go ladies, be on the know.

Regards.

Bad Boy Syndrome

If loving him is wrong and you don't wanna be right, you've got a bad boy habit. A bad boy is a guy that you know is bad for you, but you never want to leave them anyway.

What makes the bad boy attractive? The assurance of having some great hot sex. They are also forbiden, your parents do not want you to bring home somebody who just doesn't give a damn about the future or anything. They are always cool with that i don't care vibe.

I remember the bad boy i once dated, we never had a conversation. He was so distant that the only things he would say were Naaaah and don't worry and he would usually interchange those two and stupid me would be like OMG he's so different and my friends would tell me he has an IQ of less that 15. 

Never trust a bad boy. They don't grow up to any good, well they already are they are just going to be less cute and older, and it won't be enduring anymore.

Girls get into relationships with bad boys because they think they can change them. Disclaimer: you can't remove a face tatoo.

Get that bad boy in you out ladies. Let it out of your system.

Nice guys don't finish last, they finish first in this thing called life.