Gender, A Complex Affair

Its been forever right? Sorry sorry took me long to settle and post something up but here goes.

*Disclaimer these are Just my thoughts.

Male or Female really is not as simple as we all have seemed to assume all these years. Am saying this, not because i am a victim of this but because i have had close friends, yeah i said close friends who have faced this. They just didnt understand fully their sexual orientation to reasons not really known by me.

One minute, they’d act like girls, and the next they’d flip back into their own boyish form. For the girls, they would hide in their thoughts of being tomboys but for the boys they didn’t just understand themselves, just as we didn’t.

Quick story: One friend of mine was literally taken to the hospital just so that the parents could “figure” out their daughter. The doc confirmed that the girl had more of the male hormones than that of female hormones. So they started out some sort of treatment that would help her out. Oh well, i never really did a follow up on what followed.

Seriously though, i think there should be a plan on how to help them figure themselves out. It would really help a great deal. And for those who seriously hate on them, just thank your heavens that you actually understand your sexual orientation because not everyone is as lucky as you.

(Feedback will be appreciated. Comment and share )

Peace. Bless.

Regards

Sucker for Love

Location: Home
Background music: Usher-Matrimony

It is quite true, contrary to popular belief about me. Most people who know me personally or have met me say that i look emotionless. But thats just what i choose to show you know. Its like a strategy to avoid alot of things, but truth be told, everybody has their soft spots. Mine comes in whenever i hear some good old jams, not just any genre, but some good love songs.

Oh you know that little fantasy that you always get when you have a good feeling about the future? I have one of my own when on my playlist is a couple of sweet love songs.

Why am into this? For one solid reason. The music industry has completly turned to the 'boom boom twaf!' Songs. Everybody is busy twerking here and there, vigorous actions going down, so much when you really sit to watch a music video, alot goes on and your senses are just all over. For me, thats alot to take in, and thats why i preffer some soothing love song to some twerk song. Old skool? Yeah its better.

Do you ever wish to have been born earlier? Like during our parents time. I wish for that alot. I like it easy if you haven't noticed that yet, and back then life was awesome compared to now. Not the technological aspects of it hehe. You'd school, later in life meet a guy, fall in love, settle down, have kids, retire from your job, enjoy your benefits and thats it. I tend to think their love stories are just awesome, ( espc my papi's & mamushka's). Life would have been great back then for me.

How i wish i'd be that girl in that awesome series "Hindsight". She goes back in time and tries to make things right in her life. How cool would that be, yeah i wish hehe.

Regards :-)

The Skin Color Stamp

So recently i posted a picture on instagram with the caption that brought forth a lot of questions. the caption read: "Do i love my skin color? Yes." The genesis of that post was so and so, i wont name them here had asked me if i love my skin color. I was shocked because in this day and age, i never expected anyone to be thinking along those lines. Busy playing the race card here. Wrong move boo.

I don't even know where to begin. how to retaliate on this issue. how to help us curb this issue that seems so simple but yet so hard. so hard. Why should you judge me by the colour of my skin? does my race really count in a conversation or whatever. why should we favor or see one skin color to be more dominant than the other? why cant we give equal chances and opportunities to all races? whats hard there my good people?

Yes am venting. Why can't you be able to date or interact with me because of my skin color? I figure that to be one dumb move. I didn't choose to be born with this skin color! But trust me i wouldn't change it for anything in this world.

Beauty should not be defined by the outward adornment. There's more to it than just a well done hairstyle, gold jewelry or my skin color! I tend to see someone through their inner self. Its worth more than the physical being.

If only we all looked at each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges we all face, i think we will treat each other way more better. Without judgement. Lets fight this race issue. We are better than this.

Regards.

Chase God, Not People

Background music: Nitumie- Adawnage Band

It takes Godly maturity for one to realize that pleasing fellow human beings is one endless and energy consuming venture. No matter what you do or how you do it, people will never be really pleased. Just a few will be. Those who really care for you can’t even number a total of ten people.

A friend once told me, “You don’t need to defend yourself. Those who love you don’t need your defense. Those who don’t love you don’t need it either. In fact the more you defend yourself, the more chances you give your enemies a chance to gather something against you.”

We form friends left, right and center in life and we value those relationships. Girls gather for sleepovers while the boys prefer outdoors. With time however we realize our immense differences and slowly our number of friends reduces.

If we are not careful, we may begin to put people above God and that is where our tribulations begin. We have been instructed to serve God with all our heart, body, mind and soul: and not to have any other gods before Him.

For instance, your church is calling for prayers and fasting this coming weekend. Damn it! You think. This weekend is my best friend’s farewell party. How can I arrive at this fun-filled party and salivate all the way? So what do you do? You decide God can wait until another fast is called. Hopefully, there will be no other social function then.

Or you really love attending the annual worship concert or something and its coming this weekend, but your boyfriend says he doesn’t feel like it. Instead he wants you to spend a quiet evening at home. Well, you have never missed the concert but since you met this guy less than a year ago, and he is driving you crazy so a quiet evening it is.

God demands our total surrender. He says He will not share His glory with another. Remember how the human heart is totally wicked. This is why we need to stay closer to him. People will always disappoint.

Most people will befriend you based on what they can benefit from you, but God only desires that we lead lives that please Him.

How do we please God you ask? Simple. Do his will. Determine to be a God chaser from today.

Pain Demands To Be Felt

                  

               

                   ‘Give me love like never before,

He is all you think about isn’t he? The way he carried himself made you feel like he is the one. His smile, his voice, how he dressed like the true classic man, there is no doubt he is your type. His warmness and how he treated you with utmost kindness, all you could think about was how much fun you’d have with him. Just him huh! How he eyed you across the hall, and you blushed and smiled, oh you were in heaven, and it’s just you two. How he dominates your thoughts, you still haven’t figured it out.

              'Cause lately I've been craving more,’

But he knows how crazy you are about him. He knows how you, melt when he touches you, he knows he can knock you down with just a smirk and he uses it to his own advantage. He tortures you, or at least you think so. He pushes you to the brink and you question if it is really love or some stupid feeling. He makes you doubt everything, and now you want to let go. But you want to hold on again. Letting go seems like the hardest part of this ‘relationship’ that’s in your head. As always leaving is the hardest part.

           ‘And it's been a while but I still feel the same,’

You see him. You smile as always even if he hurts you, the pain is something you always look forward to, you convince yourself its better than nothing. You see him with another. A pretty one. Your heart turns cold, ice cold. You are so heartbroken you don’t even want him to see you see him with his new conquest. So you pass them and ignore him like you have never seen him. She’s so fine, with that gorgeous hair, flawless skin and white teeth. The more reasons to hate her. You see her oftenly with him. Its official, he’s gone and no matter how many books you read or how many articles you google on how to get him back, it won’t work. Saddest part is, he just aint into you. Sorry my love.

 

Withered rose :(

                    ‘Maybe I should let you go,’

How about you move on. Tall order yes? But you can make it. Its just some silly crush. There are other men out there. Yeah not like him, but even better than him. Don’t give up on love. Don’t tag every man with that statement, ‘they are all the same. There’s hope for your love story. It’s not over boo. It’s not over until He says it’s over. So ride that horse. Ride it hard. (No pun intended)

  

Push On

Viv and I, my ride and ride, the one in this article always have this crazy awesome ideas. Not the imma party my head out this weekend but the kind that will make some change for us and help us leave a mark. A mark that will be known to all.

Currently we are working on something and one major thing that is pulling us behind is the lack of resources. We all know how this unfolds. But its us, you got to learn from all this. Make it count, don't complain much.

Here is what i have learnt from this, i hope it inspires you too;

Always understand the lack of resources should not deter you from chasing your dreams, because that’s our story, majority of us that is. We have to work hard to get the resources that will enable us to achieve our plans/goals.

It could be a little disheartening which is normal for any human I suppose, but tell yourself good things, like how you’re a superstar no jokes . Give yourself psyche, keep trying and working hard even when it all seems bleak.

Keep on pushing and someday you’ll look back and realize that it was not really about the resource but about your ability to lift yourself and work through a situation.

YOU DESERVE BETTER

Location: My room
Background music: Say you love me-Jessie Ware

Have you ever dated or wished to date a man who fulfilled every quality on your mental checklist? He’s tall-Check, cute and intelligent double check, successful, physically fit, funny and kind infinity check check. The feeling you get when you’re around this guy is amazing; you might even call it love. In fact, let’s call it love. Yes, let’s say that you are completely in love with this amazing man. To you, he is virtually flawless. And who am I to argue?

There’s only one nagging issue: This man doesn’t love you back. Time to let go of that man who has a hold on you, even though he doesn’t make any effort to make you feel special. Until you do, you’re emotionally hung up, and preventing yourself from finding true love – the kind where a man actually GIVES to you.

“There’s no reason to wait for something that’s not happening. The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS.”

Don’t feel alone. Your condition is universal. Thousands of songs have been written about unrequited love, and they all have the same unhappy ending. I’m just asking you to think about your unrequited love. Maybe he’s a co-worker whom you’ve had a crush on for the longest time. Maybe he’s a friend who you’ve secretly been falling for. Maybe he’s even your boyfriend – the man who’s been with you for 6 months. Doesn’t matter.

The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS. You know you’re not getting as much love as you’re giving, but you put up with it anyway. Why? Because, to you, it beats the alternative: breaking up with him, feeling sad, and going back to the dating pool once again. So even though you’re with a man who is essentially using you, you’re okay with it. Or you blind yourself to it, and pretend it’s not happening. Oh hunie, it’s happening. Every day you spend with a man who doesn’t love you as you love him, you’re playing it safe, you’re playing it scared, and you’re wasting your precious time.  Doesn’t that sound just a bit “off” to you?

Sorry, but life is too short to spend getting the short end of the relationship stick. It’s like a guy pining for that same woman who thinks of him as “just a friend” – spending years getting close to her, in hopes that one day, she changes her mind about him. If that man were your best friend, you’d tell him to move on to a woman who appreciated why he was amazing, instead of steadfastly waiting for her to recognize that he’s been the man of her dreams all along.

And that’s the unfortunate part about dating – it often creates a power dynamic that is unhealthy. You undoubtedly recognize it. You like the man who is more unavailable. You respect him more. He’s more challenging. And yet you never know where you stand with him. When you find the guy who instantly communicates to you that you’re the woman of his dreams, it’s way too easy. He bores you. He’s not challenging enough. It works the same way for men. The woman who declares her love on date 1 will scare the hell out of him. The woman who makes him work for it a little bit will be the one who wins his heart.
As a result, you have this push-pull dynamic in dating where you’re supposed to be available, but not too available. Flirty but not too easy. Authentic but not saying everything on your mind. Relationship-oriented but not pushing for commitment too soon. No wonder dating is so difficult!

Over the years I’ve realized the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over. He’s devoted, in every sense of the word. It’s clear, from his actions, that he feels like he’s the lucky one – and he’s doing everything in his power to prove to her that he’s worthy. That’s the man you want in your life. Yet that’s the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over.

It’s not nearly as exciting as the man who keeps you on your toes because you never know where you stand. His very Unavailability is part of what makes him so attractive. But boy, is it unfulfilling to invest so much time in a man who doesn’t give you the security you deserve.

The moral of the story is NOT to find some wishy-washy guy who puts you on a pedestal. Believe me, I appreciate it if you’re uncomfortable finding a man who loves you more. Feel free to take off the last word if you want. Just promise me you’ll “find a man who loves you”…not just a man whom you love.

Always remember...

It’s possible – but it takes an effort to do things differently.


Always remember, you’re not alone.


Regards.

10 COMMANDMENTS FOR SINGLE LADIES

So as usual when i wake up first thing to check is always social media and today i came across this post and i just had to share it. There it goes:

"1. Never fail to pray before saying yes to a man. Don’t be in a hurry to get married. If you rush in, you may rush out with a lot of injuries!

2. Discover Your Purpose before marriage. Go To School Or Learn a trade. Don’t wait for a man before you start living. Add value to yourself and leave a good life.

3. Don’t run after a man because of his money, cars connection, position, talent, or family background. Marry a man base on the conviction of the Holy Spirit and Love.

4. Develop a healthy eating habit. Don’t be too fat that single men begin to think you are married. It takes discipline to do that.

5. Dress well: First Impression counts. Don’t expose any of your private part for men to see otherwise you might only attract a player not a responsible man.

6. Don’t beg or force a man to marry you. You are too precious to do that. And don’t try to hook and keep a guy with sex or unwanted pregnancy. Many ladies who do that end up in shame and regrets.

7. Your character is your marriage. It makes a man want to spend the rest of his life with you. So Work on your character. Beauty is not everything. If it is all you have, you’ll lose your place to someone more beautiful and more matured than you.

8. Never fail to learn how to cook good food. Men usually love a woman who feed them with good food because one of the easiest way to a man’s heart is through good food.

9. Never fail to read at least 20 books about marriage and family before your wedding. The marriage you don’t prepare for will confuse you when you get there. Attend marriage seminar and premarital counselling before marriage.

10. Never fail To Give Your Life to Christ before Marriage. A Marriage Without Christ Is Bound To Experience Marital Crisis.

I hope am making sense here? PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUS IS THE 10 COMMANDMENT FOR ALL SINGLE LADIES.

OKAY, SHARE THIS COMMANDMENT WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!"

There you go ladies, be on the know.

Regards.

Bad Boy Syndrome

If loving him is wrong and you don't wanna be right, you've got a bad boy habit. A bad boy is a guy that you know is bad for you, but you never want to leave them anyway.

What makes the bad boy attractive? The assurance of having some great hot sex. They are also forbiden, your parents do not want you to bring home somebody who just doesn't give a damn about the future or anything. They are always cool with that i don't care vibe.

I remember the bad boy i once dated, we never had a conversation. He was so distant that the only things he would say were Naaaah and don't worry and he would usually interchange those two and stupid me would be like OMG he's so different and my friends would tell me he has an IQ of less that 15. 

Never trust a bad boy. They don't grow up to any good, well they already are they are just going to be less cute and older, and it won't be enduring anymore.

Girls get into relationships with bad boys because they think they can change them. Disclaimer: you can't remove a face tatoo.

Get that bad boy in you out ladies. Let it out of your system.

Nice guys don't finish last, they finish first in this thing called life.

Lie For Your Ladies

Sometimes we are so good at it, we don't even notice we are doing it. Ofcourse i am talking about Lying.

Some guy told me the other day how he doesn't know why girls lie because they are never caught in a lie. And i find some truth in that.

Girls lie about almost everything, their age, their weight, their hair, their ethnicity and other things. What i lie mostly about is arriving at a certain time to a place that am 5 minutes away when actually am still at home and it will be more than 30minutes to get there.

Some of us have mastered this art. Actually, the best way to lie is to have one straight face. Make that lie short and sweet, you don't need to give details this is not a crime scene investigation hun.
For example, you have this lie you were at home all day, you need to have a list of supporting evidence ready to go when someone asks you.

A considerate lie is one that you tell somebody because you are trying to be nice and you are trying to protect them. Girls like doing stuff together, like they even lie together. It makes the lie even more authentic. Its called the group lie and its a unique girl technique. Nobody else can do it like we do.

But as we lie away, there are stuff we should NEVER lie about. Things like sickness or love, don't say you love that guy when you know you really don't. And dont lie to your friends.

But if your friends are lying, its just right back up that lie and ride that b***ch till the wheels fall off.

Regards.