Push On

Viv and I, my ride and ride, the one in this article always have this crazy awesome ideas. Not the imma party my head out this weekend but the kind that will make some change for us and help us leave a mark. A mark that will be known to all.

Currently we are working on something and one major thing that is pulling us behind is the lack of resources. We all know how this unfolds. But its us, you got to learn from all this. Make it count, don't complain much.

Here is what i have learnt from this, i hope it inspires you too;

Always understand the lack of resources should not deter you from chasing your dreams, because that’s our story, majority of us that is. We have to work hard to get the resources that will enable us to achieve our plans/goals.

It could be a little disheartening which is normal for any human I suppose, but tell yourself good things, like how you’re a superstar no jokes . Give yourself psyche, keep trying and working hard even when it all seems bleak.

Keep on pushing and someday you’ll look back and realize that it was not really about the resource but about your ability to lift yourself and work through a situation.

YOU DESERVE BETTER

Location: My room
Background music: Say you love me-Jessie Ware

Have you ever dated or wished to date a man who fulfilled every quality on your mental checklist? He’s tall-Check, cute and intelligent double check, successful, physically fit, funny and kind infinity check check. The feeling you get when you’re around this guy is amazing; you might even call it love. In fact, let’s call it love. Yes, let’s say that you are completely in love with this amazing man. To you, he is virtually flawless. And who am I to argue?

There’s only one nagging issue: This man doesn’t love you back. Time to let go of that man who has a hold on you, even though he doesn’t make any effort to make you feel special. Until you do, you’re emotionally hung up, and preventing yourself from finding true love – the kind where a man actually GIVES to you.

“There’s no reason to wait for something that’s not happening. The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS.”

Don’t feel alone. Your condition is universal. Thousands of songs have been written about unrequited love, and they all have the same unhappy ending. I’m just asking you to think about your unrequited love. Maybe he’s a co-worker whom you’ve had a crush on for the longest time. Maybe he’s a friend who you’ve secretly been falling for. Maybe he’s even your boyfriend – the man who’s been with you for 6 months. Doesn’t matter.

The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS. You know you’re not getting as much love as you’re giving, but you put up with it anyway. Why? Because, to you, it beats the alternative: breaking up with him, feeling sad, and going back to the dating pool once again. So even though you’re with a man who is essentially using you, you’re okay with it. Or you blind yourself to it, and pretend it’s not happening. Oh hunie, it’s happening. Every day you spend with a man who doesn’t love you as you love him, you’re playing it safe, you’re playing it scared, and you’re wasting your precious time.  Doesn’t that sound just a bit “off” to you?

Sorry, but life is too short to spend getting the short end of the relationship stick. It’s like a guy pining for that same woman who thinks of him as “just a friend” – spending years getting close to her, in hopes that one day, she changes her mind about him. If that man were your best friend, you’d tell him to move on to a woman who appreciated why he was amazing, instead of steadfastly waiting for her to recognize that he’s been the man of her dreams all along.

And that’s the unfortunate part about dating – it often creates a power dynamic that is unhealthy. You undoubtedly recognize it. You like the man who is more unavailable. You respect him more. He’s more challenging. And yet you never know where you stand with him. When you find the guy who instantly communicates to you that you’re the woman of his dreams, it’s way too easy. He bores you. He’s not challenging enough. It works the same way for men. The woman who declares her love on date 1 will scare the hell out of him. The woman who makes him work for it a little bit will be the one who wins his heart.
As a result, you have this push-pull dynamic in dating where you’re supposed to be available, but not too available. Flirty but not too easy. Authentic but not saying everything on your mind. Relationship-oriented but not pushing for commitment too soon. No wonder dating is so difficult!

Over the years I’ve realized the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over. He’s devoted, in every sense of the word. It’s clear, from his actions, that he feels like he’s the lucky one – and he’s doing everything in his power to prove to her that he’s worthy. That’s the man you want in your life. Yet that’s the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over.

It’s not nearly as exciting as the man who keeps you on your toes because you never know where you stand. His very Unavailability is part of what makes him so attractive. But boy, is it unfulfilling to invest so much time in a man who doesn’t give you the security you deserve.

The moral of the story is NOT to find some wishy-washy guy who puts you on a pedestal. Believe me, I appreciate it if you’re uncomfortable finding a man who loves you more. Feel free to take off the last word if you want. Just promise me you’ll “find a man who loves you”…not just a man whom you love.

Always remember...

It’s possible – but it takes an effort to do things differently.


Always remember, you’re not alone.


Regards.

10 COMMANDMENTS FOR SINGLE LADIES

So as usual when i wake up first thing to check is always social media and today i came across this post and i just had to share it. There it goes:

"1. Never fail to pray before saying yes to a man. Don’t be in a hurry to get married. If you rush in, you may rush out with a lot of injuries!

2. Discover Your Purpose before marriage. Go To School Or Learn a trade. Don’t wait for a man before you start living. Add value to yourself and leave a good life.

3. Don’t run after a man because of his money, cars connection, position, talent, or family background. Marry a man base on the conviction of the Holy Spirit and Love.

4. Develop a healthy eating habit. Don’t be too fat that single men begin to think you are married. It takes discipline to do that.

5. Dress well: First Impression counts. Don’t expose any of your private part for men to see otherwise you might only attract a player not a responsible man.

6. Don’t beg or force a man to marry you. You are too precious to do that. And don’t try to hook and keep a guy with sex or unwanted pregnancy. Many ladies who do that end up in shame and regrets.

7. Your character is your marriage. It makes a man want to spend the rest of his life with you. So Work on your character. Beauty is not everything. If it is all you have, you’ll lose your place to someone more beautiful and more matured than you.

8. Never fail to learn how to cook good food. Men usually love a woman who feed them with good food because one of the easiest way to a man’s heart is through good food.

9. Never fail to read at least 20 books about marriage and family before your wedding. The marriage you don’t prepare for will confuse you when you get there. Attend marriage seminar and premarital counselling before marriage.

10. Never fail To Give Your Life to Christ before Marriage. A Marriage Without Christ Is Bound To Experience Marital Crisis.

I hope am making sense here? PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUS IS THE 10 COMMANDMENT FOR ALL SINGLE LADIES.

OKAY, SHARE THIS COMMANDMENT WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!"

There you go ladies, be on the know.

Regards.

Bad Boy Syndrome

If loving him is wrong and you don't wanna be right, you've got a bad boy habit. A bad boy is a guy that you know is bad for you, but you never want to leave them anyway.

What makes the bad boy attractive? The assurance of having some great hot sex. They are also forbiden, your parents do not want you to bring home somebody who just doesn't give a damn about the future or anything. They are always cool with that i don't care vibe.

I remember the bad boy i once dated, we never had a conversation. He was so distant that the only things he would say were Naaaah and don't worry and he would usually interchange those two and stupid me would be like OMG he's so different and my friends would tell me he has an IQ of less that 15. 

Never trust a bad boy. They don't grow up to any good, well they already are they are just going to be less cute and older, and it won't be enduring anymore.

Girls get into relationships with bad boys because they think they can change them. Disclaimer: you can't remove a face tatoo.

Get that bad boy in you out ladies. Let it out of your system.

Nice guys don't finish last, they finish first in this thing called life.

Lie For Your Ladies

Sometimes we are so good at it, we don't even notice we are doing it. Ofcourse i am talking about Lying.

Some guy told me the other day how he doesn't know why girls lie because they are never caught in a lie. And i find some truth in that.

Girls lie about almost everything, their age, their weight, their hair, their ethnicity and other things. What i lie mostly about is arriving at a certain time to a place that am 5 minutes away when actually am still at home and it will be more than 30minutes to get there.

Some of us have mastered this art. Actually, the best way to lie is to have one straight face. Make that lie short and sweet, you don't need to give details this is not a crime scene investigation hun.
For example, you have this lie you were at home all day, you need to have a list of supporting evidence ready to go when someone asks you.

A considerate lie is one that you tell somebody because you are trying to be nice and you are trying to protect them. Girls like doing stuff together, like they even lie together. It makes the lie even more authentic. Its called the group lie and its a unique girl technique. Nobody else can do it like we do.

But as we lie away, there are stuff we should NEVER lie about. Things like sickness or love, don't say you love that guy when you know you really don't. And dont lie to your friends.

But if your friends are lying, its just right back up that lie and ride that b***ch till the wheels fall off.

Regards.

The Online Life: Tag Or Be Tagged

Its that era! Online life has been seen to upstage reality. We preffer living the social media life than the real real real real life. No judgement by the way. Even the old generation i.e our parents can't accept to be left behind. They are right behind us on this digital ladder that we are all climbing.

But there are guidelines that are basic for you to survive this social media world. And they are:

Anything that you won't say out loud but you are going to type it down to your 'followers' is too much information. Yes sharing is caring. But hunie, most of the people on social media don't really care what you are upto every five minutes. Bring it down a notch. No one really cares.

Another essential when living in this social media life, have a REAL profile photo. Something that really resembles what you look like in real life. Its simple. Wear something good, angle that camera and do your thang! (Accent alert)

If you are croping someone out of your picture, do it well. Don't end up living bits of their bodies on your picture, it looks so bad and its insulting to the other person.

You can always tell who's picture the picture is. Its always that one girl who was so ready to take the picture. She's all glamarous just like a star and smiley and the rest of the crew are just doing other things, fixing their teeth, trying to figure themselves out for the selfie and the worst that can happen is the owner just posts the damn picture and tags every one of them. And then they will lie to your face. "I think you look great"

If you are tagged in such a picture with you looking like who did it and why, curse her ass out and give her a piece of you because she is not your friend my friend. Be careful with this digital camera world. Always be ready.

Filter the amount of information that you put out these days on social media. There are alot of creeps out there who want to find out things about you and you hand it out to them when you write too much. If someone likes your picture at 3:45 am, he is a creep,especially if it is a picture from 2003, then he is a super creep.

The best part of social networking is that you are connected to the world, and its also the worst part, you are connected to the world.

Stay safe now.

Regards.

You Snoop, You Loose

"Gurl i think he cheating, imma snoop him down"

I read the text my girl sent me. She suspects her boyfriend of 6 months is already cheating on her. Girls are the greatest snoopers of all time. They define snooping as going through someones stuff to get information.

Most of us love snooping. We snoop because we can't handle the unknown. Someone once said we should be allowed to know all information about all the people we talk to.

90% of it is curiosity and the other 10 is just other reasons and some would say its usually so as to protect ourselves. You agree? Yes? No?

Snooping has its downgrades ladies. Especially when you snoop and there's totally nothing. This is so rare but sometimes it happens. Trust me you are found snooping when there's nothing, you will look like one insecure psycho. It aint good. Remember what they say, if you snoop, you are the a******.

It can also backfire when you find out something really disgusting that you didn't want to see or one that will break you.

One important thing, once you have snooped and you have acquired the info, its critical that you know how to use it. First, don't act on it imediately. You have to calm down, take a deep breath, talk to a trusted friend about it, set a powerpoint presentation, if it is neccessary do storyboard of the order of where you were when you found out things so that they have no case.

Remember, pre-dating snooping is good. You have to check him out on social media to know if you can work with him or nah. But post-snooping, girl, gerrarahia thats a big problem. Its only allowed if you have a suspicion. If you feel they cheating, its okay to snoop.

One Rule: Don't get caught.

But be ready to handle what you are looking for coz most of the time, it will hurt you.

Regards.

First Hand Experience

I have always lived under my comfort zone and it has always worked for me. I have played safe for quite a long time and it has paid me off. Paid me off with nothing but less experience and exposure. But recently a friend, wait, a good friend made me jump out of that 'comfort zone' and work my ass off.

Probably you are wondering what went down. Recently we cleared 8-4-4 and it was time. You know it, time for the real hustle. Leave alone those tusmall side hustle i used to do while in session that didn't add anything to my life except for the brown paper. This is the real deal. Like i have no choice but to work for it and give it my all.

So my friend lets me know about a new job opening and i saw this as my solid chance to prove my worth. Am always late, but today i made an effort to be early. We work our asses off to record demos and edit them and copy paste where its neccessary.

Skipping to the REAL FIRST TIME EXPERIENCE: we get to the offices. My awesome friend is good with the small talk and introductions. All i could say was same, what she said. Hehe, i was so safe with her taking the bullets as they were directed at her. Later on the BOSS comes in. Questions are poping and now my friend melts down. Her confidence level drops down at an alarming rate and its quite clear that the level of intimidation has been heightened. I can't let this weigh us all down. Its time to step up and make sure we don't fail at this. Yaaaas! She nails it or atleast the boss and everyone lets her think she has.

But its all about the positive vibes and energy. Feed yourself with that. I did and my first experience didn't feel like the first. Felt like i could conquer anything thrown my way.

Inhale the good stuff, exhale the ill stuff.

Fingers crossed.

Regards.

Smart Conversations

These days, good looks, that good position at your work that you hold, or that posh car or friends that you hang out with, no matter how good your fashion sense is, if you cant hold an intellectual conversation, you a loss. Well not completely unless you change you know. My deputy principal back in high school, used to tell us "change or change will change you" *with some accent ofcourse* i think its one safe quote, change before you are by change itself hehe.

Its sad how so many people just cant seem to hold decent conversations. You know like, you have atleast gone through school, is it so hard for you to express yourself better? I bet it aint.

Then there's this Xhosa language people. They have a syndrome that they just see to be cool but it aint. You will recognize these people by their constant replacement of the 'S' by 'X'. God how i hate this. You know i hate myself for once texting people with that sickness. Forgive me Lord. But that should just be a stage that we all have to pass through and leave it there. Dont grow up and carry it with you. Leave it for the fresh out of high school kids or high school kids. With them, i would understand and try and hold a conversation with them, but you! A mature person, please let it go.

I know it takes a lot of hard work to put up a decent conversation and no! you do not wake up and just like that and you are a good conversationalist, no It takes time and need I say practice. It is not even about being smart because lots of nerds have brilliant minds but very poor social skills, communication skills are an important aspect when it comes to having a good conversation. You have to know the best way to approach different kinds of people.

Surely it cannot be wrong to conclude that
chatting should not just be for the sake of it,
conversations need to be intellectual. Its actually beautiful to communicate with someone who makes the conversation better and not akward at all. Aint nothing i crave for as much as having an intellectual conversation with someone.

Oh and respect the Alphabets.

Regards.

Blame The Society

Aint it just weird how much we love to blame the society about literally almost everything? I hate to break it to you but this is the truth people. Funny you think otherwise, now let me show you my 'light' in this.

"Nani amenunua subari, ata mimi by the end of this year nitakua na gari yangu"
"Nani amepata schorlaship majuu ata mimi naenda kuapply"
"Umeskia accent ya nani ata mimi ntaanza kuongea ivo"

And the list goes on and on and on. How many times have you said that? How many times have you let the society define who you are and complain about it on Social Media. Just how many times have you thought of such. Don't you get tired? How many times have you convinced yourself that you have your life in order and at the end of the day, your top priority is impressing the society? Aint it head shrinking? You should trash those thoughts my dear, why? They aint fit for your growth as a person. 

But why are we subjected to being like everyone else in the society? Is it drilled in us that fitting in and being like the rest is what we need. We rob ourselves of individuality. A person who takes the sense of being an individual from you kills you in so many ways.

                     " I hate to break it to you but you are the society."

With this social media era, we are all squized into one place and most of the time, we are lost. Especially the youth. Most of them saying “Sun-kissed” to the Instagram followers
they don’t follow back. Trying to be better; the most popular. And since we can’t all be number one, the ones who aren’t popular try to find their way into the popularity circle. Competition, not individuality. Trying so hard to be like that hot mama/papi you see on IG. Funny you should understand most of them don't even try to be hot. The genes favoured them but you are here struggling to be like everyone else.

It’s pointless to try and explain to the youth in this selfie age, whatsapp, twiter and Instagram obssession period. But when they finally discover the truth. Some will be  too old to start on their main mission on earth, others too ruined by drugs, some on their death beds, others six feet under but they will blame the society.

But the minute each individual finds him/herself and becomes the best he/she could be, then the society, united, becomes better. Only if we understand we are the society.

Regards.

The Beauty of Inner Beauty

Beauty isn’t about how much make up you apply, what hair you have on. (Wigs is hair too! Hope you read that in a black American accent.) or what clothes you wear. It’s more than just the physical and it’s sad that so many people can’t see that.

Our generation, I must say, is a very hardworking one. Everyone’s trying so hard, but for all the wrong reasons. We’re going to the gym, we’re buying expensive clothes, perfume, phones, hair (Lol)-everything. We’re fixing our appearance, but in real sense, it’s the soul that needs surgery.

I honestly think if we paid as much attention to our inside as we do to our outside, the world would be a better place. It would be filled with people who are beautiful all through, not narcissistic, mean show-offs who happen to be really gorgeous. You feel me? My advice? Tone the outer beauty down a bit. Don’t come to me looking like a ratchet, taking about I told you to go easy on your looks. Nah bruh. (I honestly have that accent stuck in my head.) I’m just saying focus a bit more on your inside. Are you a nice person? Are you negative or positive? (Are you an electron or a proton? Haha! Chemistry joke.) Are you living right? When’s the last time you prayed? Things like that.

Once you remodel your inside, you can move into the gym. You have my blessings. Don’t be that person who’s so pretty, but not pretty.

Yay to outer beauty.

Double yay to inner beauty.

Regards.

Stay Beautiful In Your Own Skin

Being human isn’t easy. We have social media and peer pressure all around us, sometimes urging us to be someone we’re not. Well, it’s about time we shed away the stress and strive to be the person we really are! It’s time to feel comfortable in your own skin.

These days there are so many teams in social media and i just don’t get them all. And for a fact, I don’t understand this “team darkskin/lightskin scenerio. Since when was “skin Color” ever a team? Someone help me understand how this is supposed to work out.

Why are so many women/girls bleaching their skin tones to make it lighter.  Many of them will go out of their way to achieve this. Be it buying the pills, soaps or even going ahead to do the tanning thingy. Why? I do not know.

I mean, why can’t you be satisfied with how you were created? Don’t you love yourself much to love you just the way you are? Don’t you understand how being beautiful works? Let me tell you this, being beautiful is accepting yourself first. How do you expect people to accept you when you yourself haven’t.

Loving yourself is the most challenging of all the ways to feel comfortable in your own skin. Being yourself sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Do you ever want to just scream and say “I don’t know who I am!”? If so then you’re not alone. I do it all the time. I’m realizing I’m about to be an empty nester and that means I have to figure out who I really am. This is a trial and error thing. If you don’t like something, don’t pretend to. I love watching films. I don’t like medical films. I love girly mystery novels. I don’t like Philosophy. My friends love politics. They accept I have no interest in it. Find out who you are and be yourself, trust me you’ll feel better.

But who is to blame really? I tend to think its us. We as a society are failing to depict what true beauty really is. This is not the example any one would want to set for their daughters or future daughters on which skin Color they should feel beautiful in…BLACK SKIN IS ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL, Very beautiful.

We are all From the same race no matter what shade you are. Ofcourse be proud of your shade but theres also no need to shame other shades. After all God didnt make us this way to tease one another nor to change who we were born to be. LOVE THE SKIN YOUR IN, LOVE THE COMPLEXION YOUR PARENTS PASSED DOWN TO YOU, most importantly LOVE YOURSELF and trust me you’ll never feel so beautiful!

Beauty starts with you. Don’t be cliche’. Don’t be a stereotype.

There's nothing as beautiful as loving yourself.

Inspired by my lovely friend, Immaculate Yego. Lots of love. ♥
Regards.